So its day 5 into the re-feeding plan and things are starting to get uncomfortable,scary, exciting, new and different all at the same time.
I managed to eat 2400 kcals yesterday. by 2100 I was so full but was then reading the blogs online about quasi state recovery (when you can gain weight and seem a good weight, but all the damage done to bones, organs, hormones etc still hasn’t been repaired because you have only given your body enough energy to work on fueling you through the day and add a bit of fat and muscle. There’s none left for the most important things!
The reason I want to recover from this above all is to be mentally, physically, hormonally and chemically balanced. To be healthy again. So if i’m only providing enough energy for the physical issues….how will this help us move on to be able to think clearly to a adress the underlying issues. The brain is a muscle and requires energy to work at its most efficient level. Depriving it for so long takes energy. Once weight gain and enough energy is provided to help these repairs, the brain will then be working to its best to help us all with the route of this horrible illness. The psychological issues that forced us into this mess in the first place!
So here it goes. What I have noticed after 5 days gradually building up each day to now on 2400Kcals.
-I have spots on my face :/. I feel like a teenager again breaking out!
-I am laughing more.
-At night after the day of eating I feel very bloated and fat.
-I wake up in the morning and the water weight subsides slightly. Another thing to realize…This is water weight not real weight but a good sign that your body has started to work on repairing the damage!
-My muscles still ache.
-I am still uncertain if what I am eating is enough due to still getting brain fog occasionally, then i eat and it seems to clear it for a short period of time.
-Other than walking to work 30 mins in the morning and 30 mins at night, I am virtually only moving to go to the bathroom and to stand up to go to the fridge haha.
-I feel like giving up for moments, then I get straight on to talking to Edu or reading a blog online about why to persist with this and it often encourages me to head back to the fridge and get comfy again on the sofa with ore food!
-I told another family member the other day and she her words are helping me so much!
Keep going guys. Once this stage is over the next stage can begin and thats another step closer to recovery. But first lets build up the strength in our brains to give it all it needs to beat this demon and kill it at the route!