Ok, so its day 11…and I am still going. Not stopping. This is it.
Yesterday I did my first weigh in. I was scared, anxious, excited…everything haha. But was happy with the result!
I went from 46.1KG (7 st 2 llbs) to 46.6kg (7 st 3 llbs) :).
I think its good to think positive about these achievements. Yeh ok, maybe 1llb doesn’t seem like a lot to most people but considering it has taken me two years to get from 43KG ( 6 stone 7llbs) up to 46 of which I have been at for a LONG time and could never break the 46 mark. For me this is a step in the right direction.
For the last 11 days I have been eating 2300 kcals on average. Some days managing to get to 2400. Other than walking 30mins to and from work, I literally am not moving ALL day while at work.
Things I have noticed.
I still have high anxiety.
Less anxiety on days I eat healthy food. When I eat more un healthy I get very anxious.
The sides of my legs have started to get a little less bony looking which I am liking :).
The veins in my stomach are becoming less visible.
Sometimes I feel very hungry, others so full.
Feeling more lazy and less energy for physical things.
Although, mentally more energy to engage better in conversations.
I am worrying less when around friends.
I am not looking or over analyzing my body so much because I feel my focus is all on ”Get my period back”.This seems to be my goal right now and if i keep focusing on this then weight and image become less important since they aren’t factored into the goal as much.
I am not prioritizing protein.
Also, this weekend me and my friend Edu went to a nice coastal beach town ”Sitges”. We had such a nice relaxing day and it was actually the first day out I have ever had in BCN where I wasn’t thinking calories, protein and walking. We sat near the beach, I had spaghetti bolognase and olive bread in an italian restaurant as soon as I felt a bit hungry and was satisfied until dinner. I had energy to talk, laugh, relax and just enjoy the company and surroundings.
I also set myself another challenge yesterday to buy an improvised quick dinner from a local cafe to take home. I bought a tuna and cheese panini from Fargis. It was yummy haha. This is something I would NEVER do because I wouldn’t know the exact calories or nutritional content and would therefore terrify me to eat.
I always panic if i feel i may have eaten too much or too little. Every day needs to be just right. Nuria said something to me last night as well that made me think. She said, don’t worry, some days I may not have as much as usual and then the next day I make up for it and eat a lot. For so long I have been worrying and missing things with friends for a worry I wouldn’t eat the exact right amount of calories. It should be about balance and if one day I eat a lot so what, I won’t be as hungry tomorrow and my body will do the balance. If one day I don’t get a big dinner,so what tomorrow enjoy a big breakfast. I need my brain to start understanding this and to stop missing opportunities to do things to hit the calorie target for that day.
Another thing to mention, I have not done any sport in 11 days. This is VERY strange for me since it was my life. Although, I don’t actually miss the weight training. Since it dominated my life for so long, I actually don”t think I will start it again after this and will focus more on the sort I love. Bike riding, learning to roller-blade, dancing and may even give volley ball on the beach a go hehe.
So, I have set myself more challenges to be completed over the next 5 weeks and I am excited :). More spontaneity, new foods, new routines.
I will keep you updated as always 🙂 x