Nearly two weeks in and I am starting to get excited about the possibilities for my new life rid of this issue.
I have set myself challenges to step outside of my comfort zone most days and do things differently.
We all have ”fear foods” with this illness and exposing ourselves to these fears is the only way to overcome them. The more we avoid our fears, the more they build up in our minds and become more and more daunting to face.
The majority of my ”fear foods” came from previous issues with Bulimia. For years the thought of even having these foods in the house would terrify me of changing my mind completely and going in the opposite direction and heading into a life of Bulimia again.
So, over the years I have been introducing certain fear foods and has taken over two years of slowly testing this to get to the point I am at now. Although, this could have been done much sooner If I only had the focus that I have now.
It started with bread, which lead to small bits of chocolate which lead on to pasta and so on. Although, there are still some I have to overcome.
Tonight I had something I used to love enjoying with my family. Cheese and Jacobs cream crackers. I know this sounds so simple, but its something I haven’t had for years due to being worried about fat in cheese etc. I used to love cheese, although I was a vegetarian so didn’t have meat in my life..i needed something haha. Now I much prefer meat. Although, I needed to face the cheese and crackers fear and guess what, I ate, I enjoyed, I stopped thinking.
Things seem to be getting easier and the anxiety and worry are becoming less as the days go on since starting the re-feeding plan.
My next fear food and biggest fear of all…cakes. Muffins especially. So…I bought a pack of two muffins 3 days ago. I haven’t eaten them yet since I haven’t really fancied them and want to wait to share one with Nuria. I also do not want to rush testing all my fear foods at once to avoid me feeling low. However, for the first time in so many years, I actually feel that it wouldn’t emotionally effect me and I may actually feel proud of myself.
Staying positive, optimistic and excited for the coming weeks!