So I am surprised I am still going with this but as I said in the beginning, this is it and I am determined to carry on.
I am feeling a little frustrated and confused at times since after weighing myself on Sunday, my weight had still not increased :/. So since Sunday i have been having 2650 Kcals each day and am slowly trying to increase more each day also to get closer to the 3000 mark.
The majority of symptoms I had initially are getting less, ie no new spots :), the bloating is less and discomfort. I have experienced days where I have been extremely hungry and actually can’t imagine going back to eating below 2000 Kcals as I was before this plan started let alone 700 that I was on around 2 years ago! Impossible.
I am also noticing my legs aren’t aching as much as they used to and I am body checking a LOT less. It used to be a case of maybe 10 times a day I would body check. Now maybe once a day and it doesn’t consume my mind.
Despite my weight not increasing, I do look at myself some days and feel I am getting fat. Then I say Sally, no you are not fat. And, when you gain weight, this is a step closer to getting back your periods, being able to love sport again (for fun!), having a family and getting a new killer dress to be able to dance all night in. Then….this usually snaps my mind back in to gear and on some nights its even encouraged me to walk back to the fridge and gulp an extra glass of milk, grab a few extra cookies or a big scoop of avocado :).
I find I am worrying a lot less about the consequences. Ie before I would think, what if I gain too quick, what if i get fat, how will it effect my mood tomorrow. I am now eating a lot less consciously.
I also visited the hospital twice this week since my work is now supporting me with my treatment among checking other health issues. My first appointment was with the Gynecologist since I have not had a period in 4 years. He ran several tests, an internal ultrasound, and took hormone blood tests etc. The results and further tests will come within the next few weeks and this is worrying me although, i feel I know what I need to do and cure this illness and hopefully this will also be fine :). Being surrounded by pregnant women, made me realize, this is something I want within the next few years. This is giving me even more motivation to carry on with this.
I also have an appointment with the nutritionist at the private hospital on Thursday.
In two weeks I will go to see my family in England and I have never been more excited than this time to see them, hug them, talk, challenge myself with more fear foods and situations with them and for the first time in years, truly be myself around them. No lies, no excuses, no rules of times and plans prioritized around food. Just me being me and genuinely enjoy every moment with them. I can’t wait!