I have been reflecting recently on how far I have come over the last year. Things I used to feel/do/find impossible/terrifying 1 year ago. excessive walking. I would walk until feeling starving and hungry and would get so anxious and worried if i felt i couldn’t do the ritual walks. Count calories exactly and never … More 1 step back..2 steps forward
27/04/2019. Its been a good week. Emotional at times. So many laughs. Times i have felt crying. But I have been feeling a lot more in touch with my emotions again this week. I felt my thoughts slipping back in to numbness over the last month or so as I was restricting again but didn’t … More Motivation back
Today i weighed myself. I hate doing this now and would rather cut it out all together. 47.4kg. My therapist has insisted that I do it once a week to ensure I am not loosing weight…which is what happened when i went 3 weeks not weighing myself. My I add..an amazing 3 weeks without worry, … More How much proof does my eating disorder need?
What if image didn ́t exist. What if we valued each other purely on strengths, achievements, personality attributes and our abilities to shine out through through the crowed purely by how we act and who we are. We all say… ́I hate how people judge based on looks, body image, weight and beauty ́. However, … More What if image didn ́t exist?
Weight today 47.5kg. Although my weight gain doesn’t seem to be progressing much…my consistency in eating, trying more things, worrying less, focusing on work and friends and my mental clarity is progressing immensely. I have been using an app that my psychologist registered me on called recovery record. We are connected through this app and … More progress. 20/04/2019
What if ´image´ didn´t exist? What if we valued each other purely on strengths, achievements, personality attributes and our abilities to shine out through through the crowed purely by how we act and who we are. We all say…´I hate how people judge based on looks, body image, weight and beauty´. However, we still continue … More What if ´image´ didn´t exist?
So this last week I set myself the challenge to combat my biggest fear food…cake. Everyday I have baked cakes, starting with pancakes, then little carrot cakes, scone/vanilla cakes etc. All made with spelt flour, avocado, stevia etc, so healthy but tasted no different to normal cake. I now have 5 in the fridge for … More Fear foods
So yesterday as advised by my psychologist, I wrote my declaration. I promise, a commitment that I will stick to no matter what. And today, sticking with the promises I made yesterday and have started today, it has helped take some of the decisions away from me and the persuasion of the voice in my … More Declaration written 05 April 2019
Ok so after 3 weeks not weighing myself, not calorie counting (although my brain always does an estimate at the end of the day of habit) trying to do opposite actions as much as I can ie if a voice tells me no, wait until tomorrow or don’t have a little bit of chocolate….going and … More Seriously?
The last few days, I feel some real progress has been made which I am super excited about…but also feeling a bit scared about at the same time. The last few weeks I have been really ill with a bad cough, not sleeping and feeling sick at times so its not been the best week … More 26/03/2019