So today I did a bit of a test. 3 calorie calculators. 6 results. My current weight. Plus, when i was a much higher weight before anorexia. 3 massively different results. Result one – at 110llbs (5llbs heavier that I am now) 1300Kcals when lightly active (WTF) 1550kcals when lightly active (still…WTF) 2200Kcals likely more … More Just to prove calorie counters DON’T work
Today I weighed in at 47.8KG (7stone 5.2 llbs). I gained 🙂 which I expected from the week I have had. 2 days of extreme hunger. Eating sooo much. Plus a weekend of fun, lots of sangria, and for the first time…not restricting after a few days of giving in to extreme hunger. I’ve decided … More Day 13 re-feeding.
If you have read some of my previous posts, you will know around 2 weeks ago I visited England to see my family and relapsed in my recovery. The change of environment, people, habits and comforts tough. Surrounded by convenience food and people less health focused was a lot for me to deal with. Living … More Environmental factors in recovery and remission
And today the extreme hunger has continued. Wow. Today I have eaten. Although, physically i feel drained, pregnant, puffy and my skin is stinging slightly in the way it has when i previously used to have bulimia after big binges (possibly skin stretching due to water retention), I am trying to keep positive and not … More Day 8 re-feeding
Although I have not finding myself write everyday (and only wrote yesterday) I thought today would be a good day to write and focus my mind. Weigh in this morning 47.5KG. Up 2 KG this week which I was actually quite surprised since on the same calorie in take when i first started the ‘stage … More Day 7 re-feeding
After getting back from England, I felt my emotions, body, thoughts and anxiety all out of control again. I was struggling to think again. Its like my focus, motivation to get better, new considerate, positive, funny personality had just evaporated over night. A strange feeling to go from feeling invincible on a positive high that … More What a weekend 🙂 Day 6 (Re-feeding stage 2)
I used to love weight training, now I don’t particularly enjoy it.I think I saw it more of a way to make me feel stronger and more powerful in my body. Average girls who like sport don’t weight train to the frequency and intensity that I was, so why should I be doing in my … More Things to Notice
It is easy to focus on the negative areas of our lives and relationships and often tends to take a much deeper thought process or sometimes even a loss of these things to every truly realize how many great things we have in our lives every day without ever appreciating. It is western culture to … More What do we really have to be grateful for?….More than you probably every realize or appreciate.
Sometimes its easy to focus on the negative areas of our lives and situations and not actually see the full picture and realize that we actually have so much more to be grateful for than we often realize. Negative and positive experiences never tend to weigh the same in our minds. We can have a … More Changing thinking processes from Negative to Positive.
This week I went to visit my friends and family in England. I almost feel back to square 1. Although, seeing how much this still effects me, changes my personality, blurs my priorities, loved ones and dominates my actions…I have come back more determined to keep on going and beat this. Regardless of the environment, … More Re-lapse 6+ weeks in 😦